Wednesday, August 28, 2013

I can't weech it, too Big

I was having an amazingly fantastic day...Timothy and Aidan were finished with their school work and ran off to play outside. I was getting caught up on editing, Chris was FINALLY getting some overtime and all was right with the world!
       Kateline is 2 and LOVES to play dress up...well really she loves getting dressed and undressed all day long. She found a dress and her sister Madeline's purse and she announced she was going shopping!
So playing along, I waved bye and told her to have a good time...and she headed out to the back yard to go "shopping". I heard Timothy ask her if he could go shopping too. They are so cute and sweet..*sigh* how I love my kids!

Aidan came inside red and sweaty from the trampoline..asking me if he could play one of his math games because they were playing "baby games".  Sure, I mean he was done with his schoolwork and it is educational.

Then I hear Timothy saying " Come quick, it's an emergency".
I run into the front of the house, to the front bedroom. I see Timothy standing outside the bedroom Kiki.
As I walk towards him he starts talking..."We were playing dress up and shopping and I left for work because I am the I locked the door". I see little fingers under the door....

I realize he locked her inside the bedroom. It's one of those twist locks that locks from the inside.
"Kiki it's ok mama's going to get the key and unlock the door...ok baby girl". I run to my purse to look for my keys...moving the empty gum wrappers out of the hands move around frantically inside..searching the keys. I turn to Timothy and notice he is chewing my gum...
"did you guys get into my purse?"
"We needed stuff to fill Kiki's purse for our shopping trip"
"What about my keys? Did you take my keys?"
"Kiki has them, she was going shopping"

Kateline has them....KATELINE HAS THEM...
I run back to the front bedroom, "Kiki do you have Mommy's keys?"
"I don't hap them"
"Look in your purse Kiki, maybe they are in there?" I hear some shuffles.
"No Mama I don't hap your keys"
"Kateline can your reach the door knob?"
"I can't weech it, too big"
I run around the outside and try all the windows..locked.

So I call Chris.."hey can you come home? Timothy has locked Kateline in the bedroom"
"I guess I have to, maybe I can get there and back and still get some overtime"
"I am sorry Chris..."
I walk back to the bedroom. Madeline, Aidan and Timothy are singing Itsey Bitsey Spider to Kateline through the bottom of the door.

I start cleaning up gum wrappers...MY KEYS!!!!!!
Just then I see my neighbor Ken about to knock on the door..."I brought you those suitcases you wanted to borrow"
"I have to unlock Kateline, Tim locked her in  the bedroom, Thanks Ken" I grab the suitcases and close the door. (He must think we are so weird).
I unlock Kateline and call Chris."Hey I unlocked her, you can turn around and go back to work"
I hug Kateline close. I give her a kiss. Then I see...THE GUM.

Tuesday, August 27, 2013

American Idol

My Madeline loves to sing,she hums little tunes and sings all day! She memorizes songs at the drop of a hat and is always writing her own songs and singing them.
She has told me that she loves walking up and down our driveway because that is where she gets her most creative ideas.
I LOVE hearing her sing, her voice is just so beautiful...and really quite remarkable coming from Chris and I! We are both the worst singers ever( we are just so FLAT)...we also LOVE to sing! We have Karaoke night on the weekends and have been known to coerce innocent dinner guests into a duet. Singing is just FUN and we love to do it.
So tonight when Madeline asked me "Mom do you think I will ever be good enough for American Idol?"...I didn't know what to say. Flashbacks of the people on American Idol tryouts whose parents had never told them that even though their child's singing was music to their ears...the world would not feel the same way shot through my mind. My husband and I exchanged "knowing" glances.
 So I did it,
I burst her bubble...
I told her.
"Madeline, I love your singing it is the sweetest thing ever. I could listen to you all day, and you are a really good singer...but not for American Idol, for your family.  You would not make it on American Idol."
My heart was breaking....
"but as far as this family goes you have the sweetest voice! Your Dad and I still can't figure out where it came from"
"Really? How? when your voice is so beautiful mom...."
See love is blind and sometimes tone-deaf!
"Mom...I think ...I will just have to be the best songwriter ever!
Now that I could see happening!
Madeline on our driveway<3

Monday, August 5, 2013

Redefining Beauty *contains nudity*

This photo shoot was one of the best things I have ever done. I felt the support of the wonderful women in my community and it empowered me. I really believed in the project that "beauty" as defined by our media is not really beauty at all, it is the work of many a talented artist who's skills at photoshop are unparalleled.

On a personal level I wasn't sure I would be in a place where I could put myself "out there" . I mean I am fat, I have stretch marks and although I seemed to easily see the beauty in others I had a hard time seeing it in myself.
The women in the video helped me see myself differently, they are amazing and courageous. The camaraderie and support I felt was unbelievable...made me feel like nothing is impossible!

One of the mother's in this video is also a breast cancer SURVIVOR, she has battled for her life and come out victorious. Her spirit was strong, vibrant and her body is truly beautiful. I think you will see her warrior spirit shining through in the images. Photographing her brought me to tears, she was just so beautiful.

Mother's united standing together, everyone matters and everyone is important. Love yourself in the NOW not the you 30lbs thinner but the woman you see in the mirror.
         Every line, wrinkle, stretch mark and scar tells a story of your life. Embrace your body.  Don't let the media dictate how you should feel about yourself, know that whether you are a size 2 or 22 you are beautiful.
Thank you ladies, you are so brave and beautiful<3

Tuesday, July 30, 2013


After seeing facebook pages like "beauty revealed" and Jade Beall's amazing " A beautiful body project" I was inspired to do a project of my own. Where bodies were photographed in all their glory, proudly showcasing  women and mother's being comfortable in their own skin. No matter what their shape, size, age. The only prerequisite for the photo shoot was that they were mother's, not that they were pregnant or gave birth (adoptive/foster/step mother's welcome).
           I knew I wanted my photo shoot to be outside with golden sunlight illuminating their skin...then I remembered...a photoshoot I organized when I was 19yrs old. We took pictures topless in a field with flowers in our hair and cleaveage. I think this photo shoot for me...has been a LONG time coming. Here are some of the photographs taken in 1995.

Women supported + Women encouraged = Woman embraced

I have since I was in my early 20's always believed in the spirit and power of women united. Through the years I have seen through media, and social groups, women time after time being held to a standard that is not realistic. Photo-shopped images of celebrities blasted in our faces, changing perceptions of what is normal and natural.  Actresses not permitted to gain an inch without being dragged through the headlines. What a sad state we are in, where image  is more important than heart.
I was so pleased to see beautiful Kate Middleton embracing her postpartum curves and proudly showing off her new little prince. It is sad that it's even a topic, more women should be showing their bodies and the changes made by babies and birth, so we can all see what is normal.
Our bodies tell a story, with every stretch mark and blemish , this IS real.
So I embarked on a journey, to photograph real women, supporting each other, encouraging each other and embracing their bodies and themselves.
I needed the most encouragement out of everyone. When I think about the photo shoot my eyes well up with tears...I feel brave and courageous, loved and accepted. Thank you to all the beautiful women that empowered and encouraged me. I am proud to show and tell my children what it mean't for me, to make myself vulnerable and be embraced with love. YOU GIRLS ROCKED this shoot! Photos will be coming soon:)

Thursday, January 3, 2013


This year for Christmas  my children each got a calendar, the kind with the cute little baby animals on them.
Aidan is 9 and has aways struggled with days, months, years and time...he has no interest in it, what so ever! Timothy was born wearing a watch, her learned to tell the time when he had just turned 5. He always knows the time and date, he is the type of kid that if you say you will do something in 5 minutes, he will be tugging at your shirt saying "but it's been 5 minutes and 40 seconds...when are we going to bake cookies"!
Here is a photo of Timothy, notice his watch which he wouldn't take off! (please excuse the bad photo it was before I learned how to use my camera in manual)
When Aidan was little he would play and play for days, he never knew if it was breakfast, lunch or dinner that he was eating and he didn't care! But now Aidan has a problem, he doesn't know his months of the year. He has tried to learn them, but it is just like his brain refuses, his brother Timothy will rattle them off trying to teach  Aidan. I knew Aidan was feeling bad about this,  Aidan started to hide that he didn't know it and  when I tried to help him with it he told me he had already learned it.
So when he got the calendar for Christmas I wasn't sure how he would receive it...turns out he loves it! Everyday when he gets up he checks it and when he walks out of his room he will announce to the house "Today is January 3rd"!

Did you guys ever struggle with something that came easy to others? When I was about 6 or 7, I had a teacher that use to take turns calling on a kid in our class to go outside into the hallway and read the big clock on the wall and come back inside and announce the time to the class...I hated this because I couldn't tell the time, when she looked for kids to choose I would sit quietly and avoid eye contact, but inevitable one day I was picked to tell the time. So I stood outside the class staring up at the huge clock on the wall, trying to remember which hand did what, it felt like for hours. I could feel my cheeks burning as I prepared myself to go back into the class and tell EVERYONE that I couldn't tell the time, I was so embarrassed and ashamed. An older boy passing by saw me ( I must have looked pitiful ) and he asked me "do you need help telling the time?". He told me the time and I went back into the class and told the teacher, pretending it was me that had told the time.

I was about 9 before I really learned how to tell the time, but I got there in the end and so will Aidan. Here's Aidan up the tree that he loves to climb so he can stare up at the sky and watch the earth...losing all concept of space and time....